y1WlEjNAYV3-K1WpS3N1_iK3Azo TaJuLa's Blog: 5 Things To Consider Before You Say I Do.

Monday, 10 March 2014

5 Things To Consider Before You Say I Do.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it- lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him," (The Bible - Luke 14:28-29).

Imagine how beautiful it would be when you fall in love with a beautiful woman or a handsome man who is everything you want in an ideal partner. But unfortunately, few weeks after your marriage, you receive the greatest shock of your life when he/she tells you that he/she only likes you but not ready for marriage. How would you feel?

Relationship is like a building that requires a detailed planning before it can be successfully built. This is one of the reasons why it is not for boys/girls or 'quacks' who knows nothing about it. Every beautiful edifice that is seen, is a team work of the client and the building professionals. So also, a successful relationship is achieved by two willing partners who wants to achieve success, not just those who
only wants to be married.

There are questions you need to ask yourself which only you can answer and it goes along way in helping you plan for your relationship. You need to ask if you are ready for a relationship. Not all matured people are ready for marriage and not all those who are ready are matured. Once certain questions have been asked and honestly answered, then you need to start planning.

Planning will help you focus on what you want in the relationship, what you want your partner to have and how you would like your relationship to be in the coming years. If an incompetent builder is assigned to build a house, he would wreck the design even if it is well planned. In the same manner, if you plan a relationship with the wrong person, they will frustrate you and the relationship.

Here are the things you must check before you say the final 'I Do' and which would help you know if you are heading with the right person.

If at every issues you both have, you'd never come to terms, then there is a sign of incompatibility. Two can only walk together when they both agree. Check if you two are compatible spiritually, financially, mentally and also share the same purpose in life. Do not marry someone who wants to be a career driven if you want a full house wife. Do not marry a banker if you want to go into the mission field. Marriages like this may not work or last long. Run a compatibility test to know if you both share similar ideas or pursuit.

A lot of people may not see the importance of this in their relationship, but I can prove it to you that if you allow it to guide you and your partner, it will be of great help.

The fear of God is to live, act, talk or make decisions with a consciousness of God's existence. It influences how the partners in a relationship should act with one another. Partners may love, trust or be patient with each other but it does not prevent cheating, lies or anger issues if they lack the fear of God.

If you cannot prove that you love a person, don't build your marriage on infatuation or on feelings. To love a person is a matter of decision that you have to carefully make while forgoing many alternatives. Many get it wrong here. They think love is all about feelings, emotion or material benefits. You have to be responsible to who you love while you stay committed to their welfare.

Do not marry someone that does not love you as much as you love them. It doesn't and will not help your relationship. Love has to be mutual.

What do you want to become in life? Have you asked yourself? This question goes a long way to determine the kind of relationship you would have. Whether you are on the track of discovery or on fulfilling it, your relationship can either make you achieve your purpose or destroy it. If you marry someone that doesn't fit into your life purpose they will get you off the fulfillment of your purpose.

You need to know if they supports the kind of dream or ambitions you have. Compatibility is key. Knowing this does not only stop in communication but prayer also helps to guide you in making the right decision.

A partner that is meant to be supportive can turn out to be frustrating if you don't share similar purpose or vision. Spell out your purpose and know if you two can agree on it.

How much of confidence do you have over his/her character or way of life? Trust me, that a person loves you does not stop them from cheating on you. Nobody is exempted from temptation. We all are tempted but not to fall into is a matter of trust which can be proved by the fear of God.

If you have an iota of doubt for your intending partner, it is not advisable for you to go ahead with the relationship. You must be able to trust him/her to any length otherwise your relationship might be susceptible to fail.

Do you trust him/her with handling financial issues or to have the wisdom in dealing with the opposite sex wisely? If this is uncertain, then you have to resolve it before you go any further or quit the relationship. Lack of trust is like sleeping inside a car bomb that may explode any soon.

Life is all about planning. God planned before He created the world, so also, you need to plan before you go into marriage or start any relationship. Failure to do these (compatibility test, the fear of God, building trust, finding someone that suits your purpose, love), will only lead to failure in the relationship.

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