Monday, 31 December 2012
Your Child And Sex By Praise Fowowe.
Between 3-5years children are supposed to go through the CURIOSITY & I module.
The objective of this is to assist him/her differentiate between male and female as well as answering some of the questions they already have that bother on identity. You child at this age
Has great energy and wants to do things alone + Likes to learn new words and becomes very curious and inquisitive + Loves to listen to short stories and songs + Seeks attention and approval of adults + Energetic and imaginative at 4. Full of wild stories and exaggerations + Asks a lot of questions especially about births. Enjoy stories and can answer questions + Loves to play in groups but could be violent if not controlled + At 5 has a vocabulary of 13000 words. So explain difficult words with simple meanings.
Your child at this age will ask a lot of questions especially the ones that bother on births and body changes because she would want to know why your breast is bigger than hers or where do children come from. You need to be closer to your child and be there to answer all the questions they raise because if you leave them at the mercy of an untrained house-help they may get the wrong answer. Here you teach Progression to answer their questions on why you are taller for examples i.e Sally is a girl, Koffi is a boy. Boys become men while girls become women; women become mothers while men become fathers. This way you have taught the progression from childhood to fatherhood. But most importantly you teach the concept of R-each out to help me, E-ncourage me, S-ave me from danger, P-aint me well, E-levate me, C-elebrate me, T-reat me right songs and position your child to relate better. Every predator uses the line ‘Don’t tell mummy and daddy because they will die if you tell’ or ‘They won’t believe you if you tell them anything’. Chukwuka was 4 when the houseboy started touching him and would ask them to play tango and suck which would involve him performing oral sex on the houseboy and that graduated into forcing himself on the little boy through his anus. That went on for 4 years after which the house-boy left and a new one was hired who continued for another 4 years. He is now 28 and said to me that he struggled with homosexual practices for 24 years of his life. What have you told your child about sex and who is touching your child? We can no longer fold our arms and say my child is too small what is happening out there has gone to another level that a day of hesitation can mess up the future of a child. You need to consistently ask this age range if anyone has done anything and asked them not to tell you but above all you must teach the 4 golden rules of the body song here(the Song cd is available in family friendly sexuality education kit for 18months-18years).
Rule 1 – My body belongs to me and also belongs to God(this teaches ownership).
Rule 2 – I must report to my dad and mummy whatever happens to me(this empowers a child to report).
Rule 3 – I have a right to say No to whatever I feel is wrong(helps a child understand his rights). Rule 4 – Anybody that says I should not talk wants to destroy my future(this empowers the child against the predator). We examined the 4 golden rules of the body and am so certain by now you have been able to run your children through it. Yemisi was 5 and the only girl amidst teenage boys in her family comprising of cousins and brothers and while her parents thought she was safe with her siblings little did they know that she had become the specimen for the teenage experiment of the boys in the house. In her words ‘Every night was bad for me because I didn’t understand why they all picked on me and I was too afraid to tell anyone because all of them were doing it and I simply lost control at 13 and feasted on my innocent kid brother whenever there was no man around’ I am not sure we can comprehend what truly happened to all the boys and girls who had become bad today. Between 1999-2002 I must have worked with over 300 commercial sex workers and I never met any that was not sexually abused.
Teaching the 4 golden rules song and explaining it is so critical for this age range but beyond the 4 golden rules you must teach fire on the mountain here which is also a song that says ‘Bad movies, Bad pictures, Bad songs, Bad friends that’s fire on the mountain so run and run and run away there’s fire on the mountain’ always remember that it is better to build a child than to be trying to repair an adult.
Praise Fowowe. You can follow him on twitter. Praise Fowowe.