I have carefully studied history and realize how tyrannical leaders who had no accountability ruled and how badly almost all of them ended. A lot of people think being accountable means being ruled by someone else but what they fail to realize is that we are not created as human beings to live independent of control. It is so easy to drift into error when you are the island of your own knowledge and there is no one that can call you to order. One critical principle I have learnt from one of my mentors is that fact that there was never a time you were wrong that you were never sure that you were right. I have seen too many men who rule their women without tapping into the wonderful treasure God has placed around them.
Do you know that a woman has got a powerful instinct that is capable of sniffing dangers miles away? Are you aware that some top guys who failed to heed to their wive’s warning about a business transaction ended up losing badly and some of them never recovered? What do you stand to lose by being accountable? If you don’t have anything to hide why would you hide your business dealings or your outings from your spouse? I have studied some of the most successful men in history and realized that they were men who were accountable to their women and that saved them several times from situations that could have messed up their success. If your hands are truly clean why would you password your phones or keep your finances away from her?You shouldn’t have married her if you wanted to keep those things away. It is a new month and time to go back to your wife and watch the miracles and open doors that comes your way the moment she is in agreement with you.
Finding Solace In Porn And Other Perversions’
It never usually starts like addictions sometimes it is just to catch some fun online to explore new ways of making love but alas it has become uncontrollable compulsive appetite for bizarre sexual practices. I have counseled too many men whose sex lives has been messed up by pornography and masturbation. I am aware that there are so many who would take me up on masturbation but let’s even start with pornography. Unknown to many of our men the goal of porn isn’t to teach better sex but to sell sex, distorts your mind and breed comparison. I have lost count of how many men have abandoned their women in preference for pornography. There are over 10 million porn websites with a lot of men hooked on those sites. Pause to ask yourself this honest question: Have you become a better person since you started seeing porn? The 1986 Attorney General Commission on Pornography defined pornography as material that "is predominantly sexually explicit and intended primarily for the purpose of sexual arousal.“ If all you want in life is mere sexual arousal then something is wrong. You thought you had it under control before now so how come you have not been able to stop it? In case you don’t know Porn: Destroys moral thinking and waters down your value + reduces women to a commodity that must be displayed for sale; desensitizes people to rape as a criminal offence ; encourages a desire for increasingly deviant materials (I have seen too many good men gone bad with their house-helps); in marriage it brings conflict, suffering and sexual dissatisfaction; reduces a woman to a hole that must be penetrated at all cost. I will share more effect tomorrow but porn breeds comparison and has led to sexual dissatisfactions in a lot of our men. I want to ask you again how better have you become since you started doing porn?
Porn is a killer no matter the excuses you want to give. It is a time bomb that: Attacks the dignity of men and women created in the image of God; Distorts God's gift of sex which should be shared only within the bounds of marriage; creates a comparison mentality and a performance-based sexuality; leads to increased guilt and decreased self concept(how inadequate do you feel when you think the guys there are bigger than you?); breeds obsessional thinking and could lead to addiction but above all it destroys your spiritual life and opens you up to all kinds of infiltration. A man once shared how he saw a porn on family taboo during his honeymoon and started troubling his sister in-law till she gave in and became a secret affair for years which led to series of abortions. Another confessed to lack of sexual satisfaction and that even after sex with his wife he would still need to see porn to be satisfied yet there are loads of men who are battling with pre-mature ejaculation and inability to sustain erection which is one of the effects of porn induced masturbation. Truth is the moment you start the porn biz you’d begin to expect your wife to moan and act like the women you saw in porn unfortunately you forget that what you saw was mere acting and the fact that most of the people you saw never loved, respected and honoured each other as a matter of fact many are on drugs and are clueless about what it takes to run a family. Have you destroyed and defiled your sanity as a result of porn or are you hooked on masturbation? There is no other way out than for you to open up to your spouse and get help. If you don’t stop pornography; it will stop you soon.
The twin brother to pornography is masturbation and I am going to dedicate a series to dealing with masturbation because I have so many clients at the moment battling with pre-mature ejaculation and inability to sustain erection. As a matter of fact many of the books you would get to read will tell you that there is nothing wrong with masturbation even though they all agree over masturbation is not healthy. But they fail to answer the relationship between masturbation and over-masturbation. Masturbation is defined as the self stimulation of the genital till a state of orgasm is achieved. It is also called self sex which means having sex with oneself but what many people who thought they had it under may not say is that it has become an addiction that they find so hard to stop. While some of them may want to argue about it they can’t deny their inability to stop and also are unable to explain why they can’t stop. One thing masturbation is guaranteed to do for you is to train your body to ejaculate and reconfigure your system to produce semen faster than necessary. A lot will tell you that many of the effects are psychological but the commonest effects range from fatigue, feeling tired most of the time, Stress and anxiety, Soft/ weak erection, Pre-mature ejaculation, Semen leakage , Shrinkage of penis at the base, Reduced amount of orgasm, Mood swings, Depression/irritability, Poor memory, Lose of sex drive towards the opposite sex to Lack of sexual satisfaction. Truth is there are other perversions that men use as coping mechanism which is not healthy for marriage and that is why we are having more woman come in for counselling whose sex lives are inactive because the men have failed in their bedroom duties. Never assume that your wife can’t be tempted and that is why you need to quit these perversions before they take your Home.
Another major thing men find solace in other women especially single ladies. How many married men have I met whose confidant are single girls? I often tell married men that that relationship has never worked for anyone and won’t work for you. How a single girl who has never been married could be your confidant is beyond me and that is one major mistake a lot of men make. I have seen people confide in their secretaries or even take female PA as confidants forgetting that you are naturally a desirable man for any single girl that works with you and that proximity will in most cases breed immorality. Who do you confide in or who do you spend most of your time with on BB? As a matter of fact who do you flirt with? Your marriage begins to end when you are no longer comfortable in your wife’s company. The grass may look greener on the other side because the babe that is attending to you look smarter and younger but you must remember that it was your wife’s bid to nurture your seed and your grooming ability is the reason she has become what she is at the moment. I am also aware that there are loads of single ladies out there who desire you and wouldn’t mind doing anything including seeking mentorship just to get close to you and that is why you can’t be insensitive to their ploy to take you away from your woman.D moment a single lady is becoming a cause for friction between you & your wife or you are spending more time attending to her or sharing family issues with her then you must be aware that you have started serving another god that may eventually ground u.B careful d jokes,sms or chats u engage in wit single girls cos u r nt in d same situation & not facing similar challenges. Loads of men have made a shipwreck of their success by finding solace in the other babe.May God keep you.
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