y1WlEjNAYV3-K1WpS3N1_iK3Azo TaJuLa's Blog: Common Mistakes Men Make - Praise Fowowe.

Monday, 15 April 2013

Common Mistakes Men Make - Praise Fowowe.

Misunderstanding Headship In The Home
He never saw his father serve his mother so how could he be expected to be romantic? He never saw his father in the kitchen so how can you expect him to serve her breakfast in bed? His perception of himself as a husband is summarized as ‘I am the lion of the tribe of my home’ so he expects compliance with instructions and believes he has absolute powers. Every decree he makes is meant to favor his course and strengthen his rulership. He joined his father in front of the TV while his sister worked with mum in the kitchen so he had no idea of what it means to cook because it was classified as ‘women’s work’ Now he is so frustrated with his wife because he couldn’t understand why she would want to improve herself professionally and doesn’t even understand her quest to develop herself.
He is at a loss on how to relate with her because she appears to be more successful and so he is threatened by her success that he is looking for every means to cut down her ‘excesses’. ‘She no longer respects me’ he says because he feels she has nothing to offer her as a result never expects her to challenge his decisions. He is combining too many jobs that he has no time for his family because as the head he believes he must have enough money to retain his headship. He doesn’t understand what it means to be a 21st century man because he was mentored by a 19th century man who had little or no respect for a woman. His favorite scriptural reference is ‘A woman is meant to submit’ forgetting that a woman that is truly loved naturally submits. Of course he doesn’t know what true love means because the way of love is quite difficult to a man that has his ego to protect. Are you a true husband who serves his woman in humility or you are threatened by the success of your wife? What manner of man are you? How many times have you used the word “Don’t you know I am the head of this family’? I laugh when I see men drum this into the hears of their women in other to remind them of who calls the shots in the home/ The perception of men especially our African men of the head of the home is someone who brings money and sits like a general in front of the TV reading newspapers and watching the news while everyone runs around to serve him as the commander in chief of the home forces. As a matter of fact he feels nobody should be able to challenge what he says because he feels he must be right at all times and begins to feel threatened when he has a wife who demands accountability or takes him up in intellectual discussion or seeks to clarify a few issues. Men! Headship in the home isn’t a commandant but a servant leader. A true head serves every member of the family or what do you have in the human head? Eyes – Which means you must be able to provide a vision of a desirable future and lead your family there so what is your family vision?. Nose – How sensitive are you to your wife and children? Do you know when she is not happy and what is responsible? Do you pay attention to what she wears and when to change her wardrobe or are you sensitive enough to know when she isn’t up to sex cos of stress? Ears – Can you hear what God is saying to you about your family or even what your spouse is saying to you and what she is not saying? Can you hear the unspoken noise of her silence or the stress in her diligence or quest to please you? Mouth – How much of a blessing has your mouth been to her and how much of her esteem have you built with your words? If you don’t want a women who would take you up then it pays to marry a deaf and dumb because ‘Headship’ is service; how well have you served your family? How on earth would a man use the same mouth he used to propose marriage tear the same woman down to an extent that she looks like a shadow of herself? The concept of headship isn’t freedom to do whatever you like without being questioned; headship is actually taking responsibility. There is no responsible leader that wouldn’t be accountable for his time, relationships and the money in his custody. Not having a sense of accountability is one of the reasons our world is messed up. Headship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get help in your areas of weakness. For example there is no point insisting on managing your family finance if your wife is a better money manager than you; there is no point battling with inferiority complex because she earns more than you if you are a true leader; and there is no point trying to flex your muscles by cutting her off from relating with opposite sex because you feel insecure. Headship is being sensitive to the resources God has placed around you and cultivating them into finished products that the whole world would be proud of. A true head cultivates his wife and sets her free as a matter of fact the hall mark of every good head coach is his ability to make a world class player out of a raw player and you’d realize that the players in most cases is the cynosure of all eyes while the coach is somewhere behind where he is not too conspicuous yet grinning with a sense of pride at what his player is doing. Can you dare give wings to the bird in her to fly or can you give expression to the dream in her heart? Headship is influence and in most cases has got nothing to do with noise making. God isn’t a noise maker yet runs everything behind the scene. Can you dare become that kind of leader in your home? How well can you truly serve your family and what if you discover that your greatest treasure resides in her

Prayer: Lord enlarge my heart to reflect you and see things the way you see them
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