y1WlEjNAYV3-K1WpS3N1_iK3Azo TaJuLa's Blog: Common Mistakes Men Make By Praise Fowowe.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Common Mistakes Men Make By Praise Fowowe.

How many men can stand the success of their women? Especially in a culture that seeks to exult a man at the expense of a woman. I have seen men who try to turn their women into permanent housewives simply because they can’t stand her ability to earn thinking that would challenge their authority.  Insecurity is an offshoot of unhealthy self-esteem and it has its root in one’s inability to trust others or the quest to be in control of someone or something such that you ultimately lose control. It is the quest to control what is non-existent or beyond you. This usually gives rise to mentally initiated negative opinions and self generated problems which results in breach of trust jealousy and suspicion. Insecure people find it difficult to trust others and can’t share what they have with others.
How many times have you chock her by your attitude? How secured are you with her association or competence?Have you ever wondered why you really don’t want her to go for another degree? Or why you are always eager to read through her text messages or BB messages?  Does she presently feel imprisoned at the fact that she is finding it so hard to speak freely because she is not sure of what your response would be? Why would you want to stop her from going for a function? Could it be love or insecurity? Do you feel very jealous when she is discussing with a professional colleague or when she is hanging out with a childhood friend? A spouse that is battling with insecurity could ultimately lose everything if care is not taken but beyond losing everything could destroy everyone around him. Is it not amazing that you hate being tracked yet you are doing everything to track her movement? Why are you finding it difficult to allow her give expression to her dreams? What manner of man are you really? Does your satisfaction come from controlling people or giving people control to express themselves. How well do you maximize the strengths of your wife at home without the fear of being perceived as incompetent? Do you feel very happy or threatened when your wife is the star of everywhere she finds herself? Can you allow your wife hang out with her friends without you feeling threatened? Do you ever get worried when your wife is trying to improve herself professionally? Does it bother you when your spouse gets a harmless gift from a customer? Your insecurity has its root in selfishness or the need to be the centre of attraction and it is based on emotional interpretation of your ability and a false assumption that you are not good enough no matter how hard you try.  Because her happiness and originality and quest to be herself shouldn’t affect your own originality. Do you really know the woman you married or you are trying so hard to turn her into someone else? That you are a pastor doesn’t mean she also wants to hold the microphone (she might just want to be a song star or live a quiet life working with children).  An insecure person has no life because their life is wired around their object of attention such that they choke the person and resorts to blackmail to get the person to retain their relationship. Truth be told there is no way you can get the best out of your woman if you feel so insecure that you seek to control and regulate everything she does. You should have married a zombie if you wanted someone who would never use her mind or God given brain? Come to think of it what would her life have been like without you? Where did you get the template you are running your home from? Tradition, culture or God? Have you ever asked God for a revelation of the woman you married? Your insecurity may not have anything to do with her but everything with  your upbringing, past experience, low self esteem and unrealistic expectations. Often times a man battling with insecurity see himself as the capital or the center of the world. He unconsciously turns himself into a god that must be worshiped by his wife and feels other people’s lives should stop because he is around.  How men in this situation forget that the best the world can offer is a minute silence when you are gone beats me. Always remember your spouse is an individual with a life before she married you and her life has to continue now that she is married to you. I agree that the two of you need to adjust and make sacrifices but her deepest desires and aspirations shouldn’t be sacrificed for your quest to conquer the world. A lot of women have had the world deprived of their wonderful books, songs, companies which may never see the light of the day simply because they married a man whose esteem couldn’t stand their popularity or success. Each time I see some married women manifesting at the highest level I often watch out for the man they are reflecting because it takes a large heart for a man to truly set a woman free and that is the height of greatness. Why don’t  you weigh what you stand to lose by depriving her of becoming the best she can ever be? In case you don’t know you could have become the world class coach of the world’s most respected woman but your insecurity which is borne out of selfishness has conditioned her into a kitchen champion. How you can live with a woman for 7 years without seeking to discover her deepest aspirations is a mystery I find so hard to unravel.If your life hasn’t amounted to anything or inspired your wife into greater works now is the time to start. Why don’t you enjoy the fulfillment of freedom by enjoying her company without seeking to judge or control her? Some men are being blessed by God because of their women but they are running after the cursed girl the devil have sent their way.
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