Thursday, 3 January 2013
Your Child And Sex- Praise Fowowe 3-5 Years.
That a 2 year old was pictured yes sucking the penis of a Man+ imal is proof that what we have been talking about has taken a viral dimension. I wasn't shocked because I have seen and heard all sorts in my 13 years of practice but my shock and heartbreak in the last 7 years is the passive response from parents and other stakeholders. We all feel unconcerned and move on as usual or at best make it a gossip topic. It has been said that evil thrive because good people keep quiet. The situation on ground calls for a state of emergency and would require every right thinking parent to at least parent 100 children.
Things would go worse as long as the churches and mosques don’t have a budget for the movie and the music industry and all we discuss at PTA meetings are increment of school fees and summer holiday excursions. As long as we are all in slumber and unaware of the extent to child pornography in Nigeria things won’t improve but above all as long as you fail to take responsibility by learning basic sexuality education and teaching the same to your child and his/her friends you empower the predators to mess up the future of a child. One thing we don’t know is that once a child is sexually abused there is a reconfiguration at the realm of his/her body such that he starts seeing himself as a thing that must be used and no longer a being that must be respected. Teach RESPECT, 4 golden rules and fire on the mountain at age 3-years and you would have preserved the sanity of your child. But don’t forget that you must teach children at this age range to wash their private parts by themselves and it must start with you and teach personal space by learning to excuse them when you want to get dressed. Segun(not real names) was 5 when the parents discovered he had erection each time a song with Makosa beat was played. Initially they thought it was normal erection until they noticed something was wrong somewhere. Eventually they took this boy for counseling and that was where it was discovered that the househelp has been having sex with him having told him sex was a way to dance Makosa. We may never be able to fathom the effect of relinquishing the sexuality education of our children to the media. How many of us who are now parents learnt about sex from ‘Dauda the sexy guy’ otherwise known as Nakson? If we were sexually molested when there was no internet and BB you can imagine what could be happening.
Many of us are not allowing our children grow the normal way and that is why a 7 year old is given a BB or an Ipad as a birthday gift by his parents and you expect such a child to be sane? The final lesson you need to teach this age range are the 009 sounds. Because many of our children are used to cartons where a lot of sounds are involved you can use sound to teach them as well. Uucchh – report any touch that makes you feel Uuchhh; Oops – report anyone that touches your private parts even if it feels good; Eehhh- report any pain you feel in your body; Aahhh- report whatever you are made to see in anybody’s room even when they tell you not to talk; Unhm – report whatever anyone is trying to do to your body that you don’t understand. The rule is get every child to report and don’t doubt your child when he reports someone that is close to the family.
Predators are not strangers they are people you know so well so watch out.
Praise Fowowe
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