Beyonce has opened up about her heartbreaking miscarriage for the first time,she addresses the tragedy in her upcoming HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream.
'About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,' she says in a preview.
'And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.''I picked out names,' she recalls. 'I envisioned what my child would look like.. I was feeling very maternal.' She lost the child in the early stages of her pregnancy. 'I flew back to New York to get my check up - and no heartbeat,' she says.
'Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.'
Her husband Jay-Z first referenced the miscarriage in Glory, a track recorded within days of Blue's birth in January 2012. 'Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you'd disappear/But nah baby you magic'. Beyonce was thrilled when she discovered she was pregnant again in 2011 and found it hard to keep the news to herself to begin with. 'Being pregnant was very much like falling in love. You are so open. You are so overjoyed. 'There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.' In one scene, she confides: 'I felt the baby kick for the first time. Kicked five times.' After cautiously keeping the pregnancy a secret, she finally revealed her bump in spectacular fashion at the MTV Video Music Awards in August 2011. She famously rubbed her tummy during a performance of Love On Top and it went on to become the most-tweeted moments of the year.
She later faced rumours she was wearing a fake bump and using a gestational surrogate.
'A stupid rumour, the most ridiculous rumor I've ever had about me,' she says. 'To think that I would be that vain...'She admitted she was 'scared to death' of birth, but added it's 'the most powerful thing you can ever do in your life.'
After the delivery, she described it as 'the most beautiful experience of my life ... It was amazing ... I felt like God was giving me a chance to assist in a miracle ... You're playing a part in a much bigger show.'
The HBO documentary attempts to show the other, more vulnerable and human side of Beyonce.
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