Your Child and Sex 31–LIFE IS GOOD(8-12years)
Sir, I would want to remain anonymous but I feel parents are too trusting of their religious leaders because i could remember my days as a pre-teen going for Bible lessons and drama meetings in church and how our then pastor would put me on his laps and would touch me.
There was a day he claimed he wanted to check if I was still a virgin and wanted to be sure I had not been playing rough play with boys I was about 12 then and this man fingered me and would have raped me but for my insistence on telling my parents. He told me they would not believe me and that they would eventually die. I believed him and couldn’t tell them but I started avoiding him yet my parents would send me to his place for counselling and Bible lessons and whenever they want to travel they would ask me to go sleep over in his place. There was no day I slept in that house that he never touched, fingered and tried to force his way in. Nobody can be trusted really and we need to warn parents. The 3rd way children develop their esteem is through peer influence which many schools need to discourage especially cliques of the haves and the have nots. Mundane things like ‘I won’t be your friend again’ can so affect a child’s esteem that he/she can start doing stuff to belong. The influence of a bully as well (note that a bully is suffering from superiority complex which in itself is low self-esteem). You need to visit your child’s school if it involves a bully to call them to order. Segmentation like beauty vs ugly; tall vs short; ‘Ajebo vs Paki’ also influence a child’s esteem. Not helping your child master his/her true identity and not listening to what they are not saying opens them up to sexual interactions and abuse to belong. Are you your child’s best friend?
To be continued
I honour you.
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